Reconnecting with myself & my message.

November 27, 2018

I've been thinking a lot about my message, what I want to share with this world, who I want to be. I've been feeling a lot of conflict internally - moments of feeling so sure of myself and then feeling so confused. 

 

I constantly think to myself - Is what I'm doing enough? Am I helping others? Am I wasting time? How can I help others feel more happiness and fulfillment? 

 

Sometimes, I feel guilty for what my life has been - for being so lucky.  

 

For having immigrant parents who provided me and my brother with a life we didn't earn ourselves and may not deserve.

 

Of course, my life is in NO way perfect. My family and I struggle in many ways - financially, emotionally, etc. I’m still figuring out what I want, how I can make a living doing what I am passionate about, what value I can provide for others, and so much more.

 

I am incredibly aware that I can’t speak for everyone who reads my posts - I may not get what you’re going through in any way and I realize that. I understand that I can't take people's pain away so easily; I can't make everyone feel better through my content - but I try my best.

 

I can't experience every reader or viewer's every day life - the same way you may not understand my struggles.

 

I also realize that I don’t have it “as good” as many other people in this world, yet I choose to see my glass as half full. I am beyond grateful for every struggle and experience I have been through and will go through.

 

Although my content may come off as "my life is so easy," it definitely is not. I just specifically CHOOSE to not dwell on issues in my life.

 

I share my story with the intention of reminding others that they're not alone, yet I do not like dwelling on things I cannot change. I am constantly working on training my mind to see the good in every situation, despite how hard life may get.

 

My grandma always said (in Farsi), "'thanks be to God," realizing that every situation could always be worse. Even when she was in the hospital only hours before taking her last breath, she said "thanks be to God," knowing that she was leaving her physical body surrounded by loved ones. In a safe space. After having lived a long, beautiful life. 

 

So even in the hardest of times, I truly believe that things could always be so much worse.

 

What I’ve worried most about is sounding as if I think life is so simple and seeming like I have the answers to everything. Seeming naive and too young to "get it." I try to stress more than anything that I don't think life is easy.

 

I don't see myself as a "guru" - I'm simply just another human experiencing life in her own way. As scared as I may be to be vulnerable and share my story and thoughts, I do so anyway - despite any fears of judgment, failure, etc.

 

I am not a professional who can help with certain issues - serious mental health, depression, etc. I am also not 100+ years old - here to share all my years worth of wisdom. 

 

I still have the world to explore; but as I continue to grow, I hope to share what I have learned, what I continue to experience and what has personally helped me feel my best, especially in hard times.

 

I have my own conflicts, struggles and issues that may not be noticeable from the outside; but more than anything, I hope to let others know that it's beautiful to have your own unique journey and to keep being authentically you - while discovering what that means to you.

 

If my message and/or story isn’t for you, please know that I respect your choice to not join me on my journey.

 

What’s most important to me is being true to myself.

 

I am not here to pretend that I can relate to everyone; but if me sharing my truth can help even one person who happens to listen to my podcast, read a blog post or a caption, then that’s all that matters.

 

With that said, I will make mistakes. I may say the wrong thing in someone's eyes and I will continue to go through trial and error; but with that, I am always open to feedback and other perspectives. I am proud of my journey and hope you own yours as well - I am excited for what's to come for us, as we all head on different, yet beautiful paths.

 

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